I have been indulging in the flirtations and inquisition of a fun, attractive man named Lon. He is not a believer, but he does his best to respect my beliefs. His attention to me flares up chemistry for both of us, but for an unbeliever, thoughts of physical intimacy pressurize that attention. I’ve had to keep coming up with ways to explain why I will only have a celibate dating life, if at all. A simple “God said so” doesn’t clarify much for people who don’t embrace the Bible as what God said.
Last night, Lon espoused several important holistic benefits of sex. I agreed with all of them, yet they still did not hold a candle to a pure relationship with Jesus. I argued that all of those benefits are exactly what God intended for humans, but within his greater design. Outside of his intended design, sex and all its benefits become corruptive and destructive. I know this painfully well from two marriages that expected sex while denying commitment.
Lon is a healthy, fairly holistic guy. He even personifies plants. I thought of the holistic benefits of the fruits and vegetables that he grows and shares with love. Those plants provide whole food nutrition designed by God himself. To get Vitamin C from chewing and digesting broccoli gives us God’s version of Vitamin C. The vitamin triggers multiple biological functions that strengthen our immune system. Those various functions require and claim other nutrients to complete their work. Broccoli comes prebuilt with many of those other supporting nutrients.
If we take synthetic Vitamin C because we don’t like broccoli, our body will fire up that same immunization factory with only one raw material to work with. It draws supporting materials from internal sources until they are depleted. In a couple of weeks, we are weaker than before we took the vitamin. It was a temporary facade of health. A jolly good show that takes more than it gives.
How does this compare to fornication? Honestly, I don’t think it even requires explanation. It only requires careful observation.
First off, let’s clarify the word ‘fornication’. What does it even mean? Here’s a good article to shed some light on various interpretations. For my life at the moment, it means sex without true, committed marriage.
Like that store-bought Vitamin C, the healthiest version of sex without commitment can produce observable biological benefits. Animals apparently get all they need from simple mating. Most humans have souls. For a human with a soul, sexual benefits actually require the support of our thoughts, emotions, life circumstances, and future planning, plus the mysterious needs of our soul. If sex without commitment can’t fulfil those other needs, we draw from our internal and external resources to meet those needs. Eventually, something gets depleted and demands correction.
Have you ever been in a sexual relationship with someone who demanded far more than sex? Have you ever been that person needing more than your sexual partner is willing to give? Have you ever gone off the deep end trying to salvage your depleted life and soul?
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